Well, it looks like, at 39 weeks and weighing in at 223.0 pounds, this is as pregnant as I will ever get. Tomorrow morning at 6:00 a.m. I'll be induced and will finally meet my sweet little girl. I'm beyond exited. Exited to meet her, excited to be a mother again, excited to introduce her to my son, excited to see my husband hold her in his arms, all of it!
I'm nervous, too. Nervous about the i.v., nervous about the labor, nervous about recovery, nervous about taking care of two kids while trying to work, nervous about nursing again, nervous about how difficult the first several, sleepless months will be. And I keep wondering if I can come out of all of this without turning into a monster. I so want to be a good mother. Not a monster.
Yet, the one thing I'm more excited than nervous about is no longer being pregnant and getting, FINALLY, getting fit! I've never felt so committed, nor so motivated. I've never had so many reasons to achieve the level of health and wellness that I'm seeking.
While I realize that I can't set a deadline for achieving my goal, that I need to take things one day at a time, I've roughly estimated that I can reach my target weight* on April 8, 2013 without being too extreme with my weight goals.
* I have spend a
lot of time looking at bodies of fit women who are my height and I'm willing to, as my goal weight approaches, rethink that number. To have the fit, muscular and somewhat curvy frame I visualize may require that I weigh anywhere from 10-20 pounds higher than my goal of 140. I will adjust my goal as necessary.
April. That's nine months from now. That's the length of a pregnancy (which, at times can feel interminable, at other times can feel so, so quick). I can survive 9 months of the focus and commitment to weight loss and fitness that reaching my goal will require.
And what better timing to reach my goal than April? The summer I see for myself and my family in 2013 is so, so drastically different than the one I am living in 2012. No more hiding in the one air-conditioned room in my home. No more sweating it out in long pants and shirts with sleeves because I refuse to show my body. No more staying home while my hubs takes my son to the pool without me. No more sitting next to the big inflate-a-pool while watching my son and husband play in the water.
No.
Next summer I will put on my retro swimsuit from Modcloth (hopefully in a smaller size) and take my kids swimming. I will pull on the board shorts that haven't fit me in four years and play with my kids at the beach. I will spend time with my family outside in tank tops and skirts. I will wear a dress on a date with my sweet man. I will stop worrying about how my body looks and revel in how it works, how it moves, how great it feels, and all of the wonderful things that it can do with my family.
These things? They will finally, after 35 years of life, happen.
I plan to take things slowly, at first. I will need some time to heal my body from this pregnancy and delivery. I will need to eat sufficiently to make milk for my daughter.
The first two things I will focus on, from the very moment that baby girl is born, will be eating whole, unprocessed foods. I want my diet to be very, very heavy in fresh fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. I will also make a concerted effort to increase my protein consumption, as it should assist my body in healing and in producing milk. I will also be sure to drink 80 ounces of water each day, both for my health and for my milk-supply.
I do believe that, at least initially, this will move me in the right direction, scale-wise. When my body, my family, and I are ready for the next step, I will begin walking my dogs daily. Eventually, I will work up to walking a minimum of 3 miles per day.
When walking and eating healthfully are no longer having the desired effect on the scale, I will start counting calories and limit myself to 1800 calories per day, at least initially, of the foods mentioned above. I will continue to do so as long as my milk supply is adequate.
Next step? Weight training.
Next? High intensity interval training.
Next? 1700 calories per day.
Next? We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
I'm excited. Excited about my daughter and my family, and yes, excited about my goal as well. I haven't been the most patient pregnant woman so far, and I'm so relieved that the time has finally arrived. I'll post a (likely terrifying) post-pardum picture on Monday with my home-from-the-hospital weight. I'm not expecting to lose anything other than the weight of a baby (about 8 pounds). I know that it'll take a while for my body to let go of retained fluids and other lovely things, and I'm not going to rush things.
As it stands, I have 39 weeks and 83 pounds to go until I transform from being Fat in Cleveland to being Fit in Cleveland. I can do this.
