July 2: Daily Recap--Not Giving Up

I still felt a little bit rough this morning, but after a glance through my Pinterest motivation board, I tried to regain some of my fervor for reaching my ultimate goal. I think that making an effort to recommit, every single morning, will be the key to my success.

Breakfast: I went back to Old Faithful. Coconut breakfast quinoa topped with cherries, plum, a touch of maple syrup, and unsweetened coconut.

Exercise, Part I: Walked my usual route with the wee ones. I jogged for a few very short spurts, which the Niblet loved. Perhaps I will try to work in a few more running intervals. My time was 50:11.3 (last time I finished in over 51 minutes, so I shaved at least one minute off of my time!).

Lunch: Did I say Old Faithful? Salad of mixed greens, cucumber, red bell pepper, savory tofu, Amish butter cheese, hard boiled egg, pomegranate seeds, and walnuts topped with Dijon mustard and agave nectar.

Exercise, Part II: This one was NO. JOKE. I completed the following circuit, five times through for time:

• 10 step-ups onto a chair (right leg) with a side kick (left leg)
• 10 step-ups onto a chair (left leg) with a side kick (right leg)
• 10 donkey kicks with 8 lb. dumbbell (each leg)
• 10 push ups
• 20 jack knife sit ups
• 100 jump rope

I completed this circuit in 35:10.2. It was KILLER the whole time through. I was a sweaty, red-faced mess by the end. I'm most proud that I did not quit. Somewhere near the end of the second round I convinced myself that three rounds was a perfectly acceptable stopping point, but damn it if I didn't just keep going through the fourth and fifth rounds.

One of the greatest things about not quitting is that the jump rope portion, if you can believe it, got easier in the last two rounds. I was a hot mess for the first three, and tripped over that damn rope every 4-5 reps, it seemed. I managed to smash out the last two rounds without stopping near as much as I did in the beginning, and that felt pretty. Damn. Awesome.

Post Work-Out Snack: Two clean, vegan macaroons and a hard-boiled egg.

I try and make sure I eat a high protein snack after tough circuit workouts. I want to promote muscle growth, and the muscle mags tell me that this is the way to do it. Sometimes I'd rather power through the day without this snack to save the calories, so I need to remind myself that I need this snack to get the body I want. Makes eating macaroons easier ;-)

Dinner: Tempeh chili on top of mashed sweet potato, steamed broccoli with a touch of butter.

After dinner I headed to the hospital to see my Dad. He had pretty major surgery yesterday, so I stopped for a quick visit. Afterwards, since I was already half way there, I headed out to the waaaaaay east side to pick up some essentials from Whole Foods. On the way home, I could not help but delve into my haul for a...

Snack: 2 Pineapple Macadami macaroons. So. So. Good. And a banana, which I did not photograph.

  

All in all, today was a fantastic day, and I feel like I was able to get things moving in the right direction. Only 24 more days until I can take a peek at that number on the scale to see how I'm doing!

July 1: Daily Recap--This is How I Fail

After the way things have been going the last few days, I really needed to recommit to clean eating today and have one hell of an intense workout.

...I didn't.

Breakfast: Croissant and two fried eggs.

Lunch: Tempeh chili with steamed broccoli (with a touch of butter), toasted Breadsmith multigrain bread, and a wedge of cow cheese.

Snack: This *snack* probably had...what...600+ calories? First, the cow cheese toast. Then, the yogurt. And then, I just couldn't stop myself.

Exercise: I decided to try my 5x5x5 workout from the other day. And it was hell today. My body felt so tired and sluggish and just...wiped. It felt like that before the workout, yes, but I just...didn't have it in me to finish. I finished three rounds of the following before throwing in the towel:

• 5 min. spin
• 10 squats with alternating side kicks
• 10 shoulder raises (8 lb dumbbells)
• 10 stiff-legged deadlift/back row combos (25 lb plate)
• 10 narrow chest presses (25 lb plate)
• 10 overhead pulls (25 lb plate)

After a quick shower, I had to lay down for a bit to recover. I'm feeling so exhausted, I wonder if there's something else going on. A cold coming? Menstrual issues? I don't know, but I need to power through it. This is exactly what happens when my initial motivation wears off and I just get tired and, eventually, I stop doing what I need to do to meet my goals.

Dinner: Hilary's veggie burger (these things are fantastic) topped with ketchup and mustard, mashed sweet potato and steamed broccoli with a touch of butter (I had already had some broccoli stalks before remembering to take the photo, so there were more here).

Dinner, Part II: I finished the pan of Annie's shells and cheese that Mr. Kazoo and the Niblet shared for dinner. After I finished this portion, I ate more. Then I finished my son's veggie pattie (not pictured).

Dessert: As if I hadn't eaten enough, right? I took four of these fantastic Hail Merry Macaroons that I've had in the fridge for a while, and dipped them in some melted Enjoy Life semi-sweet chocolate chips. The macaroons are 70 (good) calories each, but I sure as hell did not need four of them.

If I don't break out of this rut, I will never reach my goals. I know this. I feel like I'm fighting my body, my life, and everyone in my life right now, and I'm just tired of it. I was too tired to even keep my eyes open today, let alone power through a workout, or, let's be honest, not stuff myself with food.

I tried to close my eyes and focus on all of the sayings from my Pinterest motivation board, like "You can throw in the towel or use it to wipe the sweat off your face" or the ones about dedication, perseverance, blah blah blah. None of it worked. But tomorrow is a new day. I'm home with the kiddos, and I can start small. Take them for a walk. Make a healthy dinner. Pick up some healthy noms from the grocery store.

I refuse to let these bad days stop me from progressing. So...one day at a time. No *off* days or meals. No cheats. No desserts. No alcohol. No excuses. No missed workouts. No weighing myself to validate the Negative Nelly in my head who is telling me that I've probably only gained weight in the past two weeks. No unhealthy snacks. No negativity. No giving up.

June 30: Daily Recap

And this is, of course, the day that the wheels feel off of the wagon. After dinner with my family last night, I stopped at a graduation party and was awake way later than expected since I needed to drive a friend to the hospital for stitches, and emergency rooms are paaaaaiiiiinnnnfulllly show. And I drank coffee while waiting in the ER, because the coffee machine, unlike the soda and water machine, took credit cards and I was, of course, without cash. So I was UP. Late.

Waking up at 6:30 with the kids was PAINFUL. I was exhausted and I knew I was in for a rough day when Mr. Kazoo told me he needed to be back at his parents' house for the day to continue to pack and move.

So...

Breakfast: No photo, but I made a bowl of oatmeal made with 1/3 cup old fashioned oats, 1/3 cup soy milk, 1/3 cup water, and a half of a banana. I topped the oatmeal with a teeny bit of peanut butter and strawberry jam along with a couple of raisins, dry roasted peanuts, and a sprinkling of granola. It sounds decadent, but having made this breakfast dozens of times in the past, I know that it clocks in somewhere around 350 calories.

And then, I'm not really sure what happened. I was hungry before lunch and decided to have a mini-meal of a very small bowl of chili, and toasted multigrain bread with cow cheese, but I didn't stop there. There were Ritz crackers and cow cheese, goldfish, and more 7-UP pound cake that went down the hatch before I briefly managed to get the kids down for the shortest nap ever.

Oh, and I didn't even bother TRYING to work out. Just keeping my eyes open was exhausting enough, thankyouverymuch.

Dinner: By now, I'd completely given up on my entire day, and I suggested that we head to our favorite Mexican restaurant, Cozumel, for my usual bean burrito, cheese enchilada, bean tostada and, of course, sour cream, chips, and salsa.

Did I stop there? Of course not!! After the kiddos went to bed, I finished the Bordeaux sundae from the other night with some more pound cake on the side, and then I called it a night.

I know that, after this weekend, tomorrow will be a struggle, but no, if you're wondering, I'm not fucking giving up.

June 29: Daily Recap

Breakfast: Smoothie with soy milk, vega protein powder, a half of a banana, and frozen blueberries topped with granola and puffed rice.

Active Rest: My "rest" day involved many hours of helping my in-laws pack up and move. There was much lifting and walking back and forth. My back muscles were killing from yesterday's workout, so the moving was a little bit rough.

Lunch:Between trips from old house to new, we stopped at Panera for a quick lunch. I chose my favorite, the Mediterranean Veggie sandwich, and devoured sandwich, chips, and pickle in record time. What can I say? I missed bread.

Snacks: Before heading to have dinner with my family, I had some snacks. I only photographed the multigrain bread with cow cheese and the pistachios, but I believe that there was at least one more piece of toast, and a half of a chocolate cupcake.

Dinner: Morningstar chicken patty with provolone, ketchup, and mustard on a hamburger bun with oven-roasted potatoes. For dessert--7-UP pound cake. No photo. Not exactly *clean eating.*

June 28: Daily Recap

Breakfast: An overnight oat smoothie (from Kath Eats Real Food, recipe here) topped with granola, unsweetened coconut, and PB2 peanut butter.

Exercise: I'd planned to have an active rest day today, so I walked my usual route with the kids in the Bob. The walk took just over 51 minutes.

I suspect I ate something before lunch, but I can't remember what it was. It may have been a slice of toasted Breadsmith multigrain with a wedge of cow cheese, but I'm not 100% sure. I know that I kept lunch on the small side because of it, whatever it was.

Lunch: Azuki bean burger with ketchup and mustard with a side of roasted cauliflower topped with asiago cheese.

Exercise, Part II: When I managed to get both kiddos down for a nap at the same time, I seized the opportunity to do a quick circuit. I did five rounds with reps of 15, 14, 13, 12, and 11. I finished the circuit in just over 19 minutes. The exercises were:

• Chest fly on ball  (8 lb dumbbells) 
• Skull crusher on ball (8 lb dumbbells)
• Bicep curl/shoulder press combo (8 lb dumbbells)
• Standing side bends (w/ 25 lb. plate)
• Plank jacks

 
Dinner: Basil pesto with buffalo mozzarella and roasted vegetables from Deagan's. Holy hell was this fantastic. I also had a glass of chardonnay, not pictured. I could eat this for dinner Every. Single. Day.

Dessert: This picture is too hilariously blurry not to share. This is about a third of a Bordeaux sundae from Malley's. These sundaes are not too be trifled with.

June 27: Daily Recap

I have to admit, it was super strange to wake up and stumble through my sleepy morning bathroom routine without getting on that scale. Also? My bathroom seems so empty without the scale in the corner. Everything about that room now feels...off.

In other scale news, I've decided to track calories for today just to see what I've been eating. I'm not going to let the fact that I'm counting calories change what I would eat for the day, I just want to know if I'm eating too much or too little or if, hopefully, I'm right on the money.

Breakfast: Smoothie made of unsweetened almond milk, spinach, vega protein powder, banana, and frozen blueberries, topped with Cheerios and Barbara's puffed rice cereal. Calories: 318.

I headed to the grocery store this morning to pick up some necessities like milk, bread, bananas, greens, plums, cheese, and baby food, as well as ingredients to make a giant pot of chili. Here's the haul:

Exercise: Another killer 5x5x5 circuit. I'm not sure I've ever sweated so much in a single workout. Here's what it looked like.

• 5 min. spin
• 10 bent over rows (w/ 10 lb plates)
• 10 bent over flys (started with 8 lb dumbbells, moved to 5 lb when that got too tough)
• 10 one-armed "kettle bell" swings, each side (used 10 lb plate)
• 10 stiff-legged deadlifts (50 lbs)
• 10 push ups (on knees)

• Repeat circuit five times. The workout clocked in at just over 48 minutes. Calories burned: 460.

Post-Workout Shake (not pictured): Almond and soy milk (ran out of almond milk) with a scoop of Vega protein powder. Calories: 152

Lunch: Salad with spring mix, broccoli, cucumber, red bell pepper, hard-cooked egg, pomegranate seeds, smoked tofu, Amish butter cheese, and walnuts topped with Dijon mustard and honey. Calories: 489.

I broke from work on the early side today to start cooking a double batch of the Chili Sin Carne Al Mole from Vegan With a Vengeance (recipe can be found here). For some reason, on sunny and humid afternoons like the one we had today, I find myself craving a cold bottle of beer. I'm not even a huge beer drinker, but for whatever reason, on days like today, I want beer.

That said, I think alcohol is a waste of precious calories. If I'm going to consume empty calories while trying to lose weight, I want those calories to come from something really damn delicious, like cookies or cake. Beer? Who cares about beer?! Give me the sugar.

Dinner: A layer of mashed sweet potato topped with chili, steamed broccoli with a smidge of salted butter. Calories: 396. [I was so hungry that I dug into the broccoli before remembering to snap a quick photo. Please excuse the hideous place mat.]

There is a certain kind of full only gotten from bread, pasta, cake, and white potatoes. I was full after this dinner, but not bread full. In fact, I may have buried my nose so deep into a piece of B's uneaten Breadsmith multigrain toast that I probably ingested calories through my nose.

Interestingly, were I counting calories on a daily basis, I'd have eaten that slice of multigrain bread with a wedge of cow cheese with my dinner, since I really wanted it and I had the calories to spare. However, my focus right now is eating clean, and eating when I'm hungry as opposed to eating something that I'm craving, eating for comfort, or eating for entertainment. I wanted bread because I wanted it, not because I was hungry. And I need to learn to eat for fuel, not for fun.

That said, I caved about an hour later and ate...

Snack: 55 goldfish crackers. Calories: 140.

So, after tracking a *normal* day, I see that I consumed 1495 calories and burned 460 calories, for a net intake of 1035 calories. This is fantastic. Is it too low to stick with on a daily basis? Absolutely! But my plan is and has always been to be *perfect* Monday through Friday (with the exception of my Monday morning croissant), and to live a little on the weekends. With five days like today, I know that a *cheat* meal on Saturday or Sunday (or both) won't undo my hard work Monday through Friday.

I don't plan to make a habit out of calorie counting. I've counted calories off and on for years, and I now know my portion sizes, know balance, and feel like I know what I need to be eating. I just need a frame of reference every once in a while, just to make sure I'm on track. I'm really trying, these days, to stop obsessing over the numbers. It gets exhausting after a while and, I now believe, may be one of the reasons that I end up giving up after 6-8 weeks. It just becomes too much.

I have a freezer full of chili, overnight oats for an overnight oat smoothie are prepped in the fridge, I've got a long ride planned for the weekend, and I'm feeling good about my progress.

June 26: Daily Recap

Breakfast: Oatmeal pancake (1/3 cup oats, 1/3 cup egg white, pinch of baking powder, cinnamon, half of a mashed banana) cooked in olive oil and topped with fresh, organic peanut butter, sliced banana, and drizzled with maple syrup.

Exercise: Today was speed day. I used my interval timer and headed for a ride on my home to Hilliard route. I set a five minute warm-up followed by 10 intervals with 1 minute at high intensity followed by 2 minutes of recovery. After this 35 minute workout I turned my bike around and headed home, pedaling at a comfortable pace, enjoying the ride, the smooth road, the tail wind, and the slight downslope.

The Hilliard route might not be the *best* route for timed speed intervals, because the lights interfered with two of my high intensity intervals. I may either have to adapt it based on geographical markers or move the ride to the bike trail in the Metroparks and hope for less interruption. Otherwise, speed work may have to happen on my spin bike indoors.

The ride felt good. I used my usual "don't stop, get it, get it" mantra on the painful, fast portions. During recovery, I kept reminding myself that I needed to go out and get what I want. And I'm doing it. I'm not quitting.

Lunch: I wasn't up for my usual salad today. I also have social plans this evening, and I'm not sure what my options will be, food wise. I wanted something a little more substantial, and decided to focus my meal around these burgers that I discovered at Nature's Bin in Lakewood. The ingredients list is fantastic, and I was excited to try a convenience food that was not what I'd call a "processed food."

The burger was fantastic. I served it up with a side of roasted cauliflower and sweet potato (tossed in a little olive oil prior to roasting). I sprinkled some asiago cheese on the cauliflower, and put just a touch of salted butter on the potato. This was a fantastic and filling lunch that was a welcome break from the boring-ass salads that I've been eating every day.

I was able to snuggle some babies after work before heading to the 2 Wheels & Heels Ladies Bike Night sponsored by Crank Set Rides. A PTA friend joined me and we headed to ABC Tavern on W. 25th for a beer (Red Stripe, not pictured) before heading on a ride around Ohio City and ending downtown at Noodlecat. There, we had more beers (1 Black Label, not pictured) and some fantastic noodles. I chose the Szechuan Ramen (vegetarian) and loved every slurpy bite:

Afterwards, our group of ladies made the short ride over the Detroit-Superior bridge back to West 25th. The ride was absolutely beautiful, and had I not been with a group, I would have stopped to take pictures of the hustle downtown on and in Ohio City. I so love my city. Everyone was very friendly, and I look forward to more group rides in the future.

And...let me just add...people just love to see a group of women biking together in the city!