Week 2: 204.0 Pounds

Clearly, my weight has settled down and I will need to earn each pound lost from here forward. I was definitely my own worst enemy this week, where food is concerned. I ate a LOT.

Now, I don't want to cut calories too drastically. I am nursing, after all. I intend to eat when I am hungry. The problem, however, is not that I'm eating when hungry...it's what I am eating when hungry that will be a problem if I don't knock it off. Here are my calorie breakdowns for the week:

Monday 7/23: 1849
Tuesday 7/24: 2633 (!)
Wednesday 7/25: 1897
Thursday 7/26: 2110
Friday 7/27: 2132
Saturday 7/28: 3122(!!)
Sunday 7/29: 1853

I ate dessert every single day (except for Sunday). On Saturday, I had three desserts (a giant vegan cookie, a chocolate bar, and creme brulee). I ate out often and made some rather unhealthy choices (french fries on Saturday and Thursday, a bloomin' onion on Tuesday). However, I'm content with keeping my calories between 1800 and 2100 as long as it continues to yield a 2+ pound loss each week. When it stops working, I intend to start exercising (rather than counting calories) to keep my losing to 1-2 pounds per week. Cutting calories again will be a last resort for me while I'm still nursing.

I am still doing many things right. I'm tracking my calories each day, I'm drinking tons of water, I'm eating lots of whole foods (at home, anyway).

As for the not so good things, I need to keep treats to 1 per day at a maximum. None of this three desserts per day bullshit that happened this week. Also, I need to limit how often I go out to eat and watch what I eat once I'm out.

In an effort to do a better job next week, the Hubs and I spent yesterday getting our kitchen (and lives) organized. Since we are all back to work this week, we knew we had to plan ahead in order to save money and the stress associated with having two children to contend with after we finished work for the day.

We chopped up veggies and made a sauce for stir fry. We chopped up veggies for salads. We washed and prepped fruit for the week. We cooked a double batch of my very, very favorite vegan chili. I baked a pan of corn bread. I also baked some crustless mini quiches for breakfasts (filled with veggies, vegan sausage, and vegan cheese). I cooked a pound of tempeh bacon. There is now absolutely nothing standing in the way of me eating healthy meals this week.

I do have two work meetings at restaurants that have to be faced. The first was this morning, and I just *had* to have a croissant because they were fresh baked and so absolutely fantastic that I could not resist. I also had a cheesy omelet with greens that was too tasty to be believed. The next meeting takes place at an Italian restaurant with some of the best baked ziti and garlic bread in town. I will simply make sure that the rest of the day I refrain from eating dessert and eat lots and lots of fruits and vegetables to keep my calories down for the day.

I planned to post a photo, but I need to work on my photography skills a bit first. And really, I don't look much different than I did last week. Still look at least five months pregnant, still don't think I look that bad until I see a photo. Ah well, I'll get there.

13.5 pounds down, 64 to go until I'm Fit in Cleveland!

Week 1: 206.5 Pounds

Ok ok ok.

I get it.

I did not lose 11 pounds in one week.

Well...I did, but not because of anything that I did or didn't do.

I realize that my body is just adjusting to post babyness.

I get it.

But dayaaaaaaammmmmnnnnnnn!!! What a way to get started, yeah.

Clearly, I still look very, very pregnant.

But that's to be expected, yes? I had a baby 12 days ago. Had I given birth oh, say, 6 months ago, my big baby blubber belly would be a giant source of shame and disappointment. But 12 days after having a baby? I can deal with it.

So...things I'm doing right?

1. I'm focusing on my family and the new, sweet little edition that has joined us.

2. I'm drinking a shit ton of water. A shit. Ton.

3. I'm trying to eat lots of fruits, vegetables, grains, and other unprocessed, whole foods.

4. Because I can't eat dairy (Sweet Pea doesn't seem to like it in my breast milk), I can't really go out to eat or eat very unhealthily. My hand has been forced here.

5. I'm nursing. I hear that helps one lose weight. It didn't really work with my son, but I'll chose to believe things will be different this time. My optimism is bolstered by the fact that I weigh less today, 12 days after giving birth to my daughter, than I weighed one month after giving birth to my son.

6. I'm counting calories and tracking them on MyNetDiary.

7. Because I'm nursing and trying to enjoy my family, I'm not sweating every calorie I consume. If I'm hungry, I eat. If I go over my 1800 daily allotment, oh fucking well. I want energy. I want not to obsess about food. I want to make sure I'm getting enough to make plenty of milk for my Sweet Pea.

Things I'm doing wrong?

None.

Not a one.

11 pounds down, 66.5 to go!

Week 0: 217.5 Pounds

There are a great number of mysteries in this world. What happened to Amelia Earhart? Why do travelers disappear around/near the Bermuda Triangle? Who shot Kennedy? Why does one of every pair of socks always disappear somewhere between the washer and the dryer?

But none is so great as the one I now put before you: How does a woman give birth to a baby girl weighing 9 pounds and 2 ounces and come home from the hospital having lost only 5.5 pounds?

I'm not entirely sure that such a mystery could ever possibly be solved.

I went in labor on Tuesday, the night before I was scheduled to be induced. At 10:37 on Wednesday morning I welcomed my little Sweet Pea into the world. Labor was both rough and easy. Same with recovery.

I'm beyond in love with her. I'm also beyond overwhelmed with trying to be a good mother both to her and to my little Niblet. I'm wondering how, when, and if I'll ever have a spare moment again, let alone how, when and if I'll ever be able to keep my house clean, teach my children how to be good people, sleep, or shower.

But I'm thrilled. I'm over the moon. My family is whole and perfect.

I am, of course, spending my time focusing on my family, my health, and rest and healing. But I haven't forgotten my goal. In fact, it is still very much on my mind.

On Monday morning I weighed in at 217.5 pounds. I will consider this number my Official Starting Weight. My goal weight is 140 pounds. I have 77.5 pounds to lose.

I can do this.

I will do this.

One day at a time. One meal at a time. One glass of water at a time. One walk with the dogs or romp at the park with the kids at a time.

I will do this.

Week 39: 223.0 Pounds

Well, it looks like, at 39 weeks and weighing in at 223.0 pounds, this is as pregnant as I will ever get. Tomorrow morning at 6:00 a.m. I'll be induced and will finally meet my sweet little girl. I'm beyond exited. Exited to meet her, excited to be a mother again, excited to introduce her to my son, excited to see my husband hold her in his arms, all of it!

I'm nervous, too. Nervous about the i.v., nervous about the labor, nervous about recovery, nervous about taking care of two kids while trying to work, nervous about nursing again, nervous about how difficult the first several, sleepless months will be. And I keep wondering if I can come out of all of this without turning into a monster. I so want to be a good mother. Not a monster.

Yet, the one thing I'm more excited than nervous about is no longer being pregnant and getting, FINALLY, getting fit! I've never felt so committed, nor so motivated. I've never had so many reasons to achieve the level of health and wellness that I'm seeking.

While I realize that I can't set a deadline for achieving my goal, that I need to take things one day at a time, I've roughly estimated that I can reach my target weight* on April 8, 2013 without being too extreme with my weight goals.

* I have spend a lot of time looking at bodies of fit women who are my height and I'm willing to, as my goal weight approaches, rethink that number. To have the fit, muscular and somewhat curvy frame I visualize may require that I weigh anywhere from 10-20 pounds higher than my goal of 140. I will adjust my goal as necessary.

April. That's nine months from now. That's the length of a pregnancy (which, at times can feel interminable, at other times can feel so, so quick).  I can survive 9 months of the focus and commitment to weight loss and fitness that reaching my goal will require.

And what better timing to reach my goal than April? The summer I see for myself and my family in 2013 is so, so drastically different than the one I am living in 2012. No more hiding in the one air-conditioned room in my home. No more sweating it out in long pants and shirts with sleeves because I refuse to show my body. No more staying home while my hubs takes my son to the pool without me. No more sitting next to the big inflate-a-pool while watching my son and husband play in the water.

No.

Next summer I will put on my retro swimsuit from Modcloth (hopefully in a smaller size) and take my kids swimming. I will pull on the board shorts that haven't fit me in four years and play with my kids at the beach. I will spend time with my family outside in tank tops and skirts. I will wear a dress on a date with my sweet man. I will stop worrying about how my body looks and revel in how it works, how it moves, how great it feels, and all of the wonderful things that it can do with my family.

These things? They will finally, after 35 years of life, happen.

I plan to take things slowly, at first. I will need some time to heal my body from this pregnancy and delivery. I will need to eat sufficiently to make milk for my daughter.

The first two things I will focus on, from the very moment that baby girl is born, will be eating whole, unprocessed foods. I want my diet to be very, very heavy in fresh fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. I will also make a concerted effort to increase my protein consumption, as it should assist my body in healing and in producing milk. I will also be sure to drink 80 ounces of water each day, both for my health and for my milk-supply.

I do believe that, at least initially, this will move me in the right direction, scale-wise. When my body, my family, and I are ready for the next step, I will begin walking my dogs daily. Eventually, I will work up to walking a minimum of 3 miles per day.

When walking and eating healthfully are no longer having the desired effect on the scale, I will start counting calories and limit myself to 1800 calories per day, at least initially, of the foods mentioned above. I will continue to do so as long as my milk supply is adequate.

Next step? Weight training.

Next? High intensity interval training.

Next? 1700 calories per day.

Next? We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

I'm excited. Excited about my daughter and my family, and yes, excited about my goal as well. I haven't been the most patient pregnant woman so far, and I'm so relieved that the time has finally arrived. I'll post a (likely terrifying) post-pardum picture on Monday with my home-from-the-hospital weight. I'm not expecting to lose anything other than the weight of a baby (about 8 pounds). I know that it'll take a while for my body to let go of retained fluids and other lovely things, and I'm not going to rush things.

As it stands, I have 39 weeks and 83 pounds to go until I transform from being Fat in Cleveland to being Fit in Cleveland. I can do this.

Week 38: 221.0 Pounds

No picture today. I can't even bother to dress myself adequately, let alone snap a photo.

But I'm here. And I'm still pregnant. And I've managed to maintain my weight for the third week in a row.

But this baby has to come. I'm ready. She's ready. It's time.

And then I can finally, finally, get started on my body.