Week 6: 194.5 and Week 7: 198.5

Week 6 Stats:

Starting Weight/BMI: 217.5/33.1 (obese)
Last Week Weight/BMI: 196.5/29.9 (overweight)
Current Weight/BMI: 194.5/29.6 (overweight)
Change This Week: - 2.0
Total Lost:  23.0
Pounds to Goal: 54.5

Week 7 Stats:

Starting Weight/BMI: 217.5/33.1 (obese)
Last Week Weight/BMI: 194.5/29.6 (overweight)
Current Weight/BMI: 198.5/30.2 (obese)
Change This Week: + 4.0
Total Lost: 19.0
Pounds to Goal: 58.5

Sooooooooooooooo....... I'm obese again. There's that.

And I haven't counted calories or, let's be honest, put much effort in eating the way I should be eating, since Friday, August 24th. And I haven't exercised, either.

Why?

Well, there's the stress, for one thing. I'm an attorney and have a big federal trial coming up and I am anxious as hell. And how do I deal with anxiety? I stuff pound cake and cookies in my gob, that's how I deal with it. How does that work, you ask? Not so well, truth be told.

So...fine. It's done. I managed to lose two pounds last week, despite going off the rails. And then I gained four pounds this week. It's over. It's time to move on.

When this trial is over, I'm going to seek out a behavioral psychologist who can help me find a better way to deal with anxiety. Until then, I'm just going to force myself to count every. Damn. Calorie.

Unfortunately, I'm at the point where I could give exactly zero shits that I'm fat and I want to lose weight and I want to finally, finally achieve a goal that I have wanted for the last 15 years. I know, rationally, that my not caring is a very temporary thing and I will wake up, one day in the very near future, and care very much. I'll kick myself for not doing what I should have been doing. I'll mourn the lost ground and the extra pounds that I have to lose all over again.

That hasn't happened yet.

So...until I start caring again, I will net 1800 calories per day if it kills me. If I eat all 1800 of those calories by 11:00 a.m. then by GOD I will wait until midnight to eat again. I suspect that, when the pounds start coming off again, I will once again care very much indeed.

And, in the glass is half full department, I am still very much on track to reach my goal weight on April 9 of next year, a mere eight months away. Here is a shot of MyNetDiary's progress chart as proof. As long as weight stays below that dotted line, I'm golden.

So, back to work.