Monday, October 29, 2012

Week 14: 193.5 and Week 15: 190.5

Week 14 Stats:

Starting Weight/BMI: 217.5/33.1 (obese)
Last Week Weight/BMI: 193.0/29.3 (overweight)
Current Weight/BMI: 193.5/29.4 (overweight)
Change This Week: + 0.5
Total Lost: 24.0
Pounds to Goal: 53.5

Week 15 Stats:

Starting Weight/BMI: 217.5/33.1 (obese)
Last Week Weight/BMI: 193.5/29.4 (overweight)
Current Weight/BMI: 190.5/29.0 (overweight)
Change This Week: - 3.0
Total Lost: 27.0
Pounds to Goal: 50.5

Right. So I'm exactly where I was three weeks ago today. I seem to be having some trouble gaining any ground. I'm quite a few pounds over the line that will get me to goal on April 9, 2013.

 

Again, I find myself a mere pound away from the 180s. I'm trying to focus on not lamenting my lack of progress and, instead, look at this as an opportunity to break through to the next level. 

I'm not going to waste too much time thinking about that line. Do I want to catch up to it? Hell yes. However, it's the line at the very bottom of the chart that matters the most to me. If I reach it in April of 2013, great! If it takes another entire year, so be it. I just want to get there.

I'm due for outpatient surgery next week, so I'm taking it easy, physically. Instead, I'm counting calories like a mothef^@&#r, and I'm trying to eat the healthiest foods that I can.

My goal is to stick with oats for breakfast, in the form of whipped banana oatmeal or oatmeal protein pancakes topped with banana. On the days I need a break, I'll have a protein berry smoothie in a bowl topped with Cheerios. Once a week, I'll have my egg and croissant breakfast at the best little bakery in Cleveland. 

Lunches will be salads with lots of raw greens, vegetables, protein, and grains. Last week I tried the Everyday Chickpea-Quinoa Salad from Appetite for Reduction. This week I'll try the Edamame Sushi Roll Salad from that same cookbook. Or, if I'm in the mood, I'll try a veggie wrap with hummos and a bowl of healthy vegetable soup.

Dinner will be anything yummy and delicious that I'd like, so long as at least half of my dinner plate is filled with vegetables.

I'd love to say that I'll never have dessert, but I'm a realist. I love sweets, and banning them from my diet will just make me binge. So I'll let myself have dessert NO MORE than twice this week. 

I want the scale to read 188 pounds one week from today. I think, so long as I stick with my plan, I'll get there.

Until then, I'll stay positive!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Week 13: 193.0

Starting Weight/BMI: 217.5/33.1 (obese)Last Week Weight/BMI: 190.5/29.0 (overweight)
Current Weight/BMI: 193.0/29.3 (overweight)
Change This Week: + 2.5
Total Lost: 24.5
Pounds to Goal: 53.0

Le sigh...

I pretty much gave up last week. I did wonderfully until Wednesday night, when I had dinner with my family and ate three pieces of pizza, a bread stick, a half of a cinnamon stick, and Halloween candy. That's right, I had a 1500+ calorie dinner.

I started to track on Thursday, and then never recorded dinner. I can't even remember what I ate. I tracked breakfast on Friday but gave up counting calories when I baked cookies for a PTA bake sale and ate at least a dozen. The only thing I tracked over the weekend was Saturday's breakfast. There was a lot of badness in there, but I have no recollection of what I ate.

So yeah. The 2.5 pound weight was not totally unexpected.

Not surprisingly, I'm back over the line.


As if I needed any more bad news, I had an appointment with a surgeon last week who confirmed that I need surgery to correct an umbilical hernia. A surgery that should not be delayed. The good? I'll have an inney again. The bad? 2-3 weeks recovery time that may prevent me from running my first 5k on December 9.

I've decided to be proactive and optimistic this week.

Focus point number 1: The Line. That line will get me where I want to be, when I want to be there. That line is all that matters. I will fight like hell to stay at or below that unholy dotted line. If I can just focus on that line, I can stop sweating how very far I have to go until I reach my goal or how MUCH I am struggling to stay motivated every. Single. Day. The line is all that matters.

Focus point number 2: Train, train, train for the 5k. Even if I can't run it in December. Even if the surgery pushes me back for several more months. I have three full weeks until that surgery. There's no point just abandoning my goal. I'll start. I'll get the surgery. I'll recover. I'll heal. I'll get back to work. If the run doesn't happen on 12/9, I'll register for a different one. No big deal. I'll still do it.

I downloaded the couch to 5k app months ago and finally went for my first run on Sunday night. It did not go as badly as I'd anticipated. I went again last night. I loved and hated every second of it. I stopped worrying about speed and, when the app told me to run, I ran. I didn't stop until it told me to walk. I tried to let go of time, insecurities, discomfort, and anxiety while just putting one foot in front of the other.

I also have a running buddy who will run the event with me. While we're not training together, we send one another encouraging (or complaining) texts about running. Not only is it great to have a way to maintain our friendship, but it motivates me to stick with it because I know that she wants to run the event with me.

So. There it is. Stick with the line. Run.

I can do this.

I will do this.

180's...I'm still lookin' at you. Bitches.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Week 11: 197.0 and Week 12: 190.5

Week 11:

Starting Weight/BMI: 217.5/33.1 (obese)
Last Week Weight/BMI: 194.0/29.5 (overweight)
Current Weight/BMI: 197.0/30.0 (overweight)
Change This Week: - 3.0
Total Lost: 20.5
Pounds to Goal: 57.0

Week 12:

Starting Weight/BMI: 217.5/33.1 (obese)
Last Week Weight/BMI: 197.0/30.0 (overweight)
Current Weight/BMI: 190.5/29.0 (overweight)
Change This Week: -6.5
Total Lost: 27.0
Pounds to Goal: 50.5

Week 11 was a mess. I did well on Monday, started snacking on my son's Potty Training M&M's (TM) on Tuesday, overate said candies after a giant meal of cheesy Mexican on Wednesday night, ate even more M&Ms on Thursday, and then stopped tracking completely on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday and ate whatever I wanted.

No surprise that I gained three pounds and went over the line.

Week 12, I recommitted for the million time. I didn't work out, but I ate well. Here are what my calories looked like:

Monday: 1533
Tuesday: 1622
Wednesday: 1777
Thursday: 1674
Friday: 1478
Saturday: 1731
Sunday: 2774

Why were my calories so high on Sunday? Well, I went out for Mexican (again) which I followed up with a healthy slice of chocolate cake. Am I ok with this decision? Hell yes. I managed to keep my weekly average below 1800 net calories, and even with my giant meal on Sunday night, I managed to do that. And I'm happy.

In Week 11 I managed to gain and get myself above the goal line. In Week 12, I managed to get back under.


And now, finally, in Week 13 I intend to get down into the 180s.

I never, ever want to see 190 when I step on the scale again.

...and I won't.